I'm strong now- 'A letter never posted'

                   

I’m strong now. I’ve learnt to live alone. Though they haunt me at times, I’ve learnt to ignore them. The memories! Or rather I have learnt to live with them. They aren’t entirely bad. They make me happy. They take me to an entirely different world. But the happiness is short lived. I don’t know why it always has a bitter end. Few days back, I found myself walking on the circular porch of the mall. The same one! The one we once, walked with ice-cream cones in our hand. We were just friends in those days. I remember, we had agreed to walk the porch pretending to be soul-mates. We later laughed about it.  A petty childish thing it was at that moment. Few days back I stood at the same ice-cream stall smiling as I thought about it. Suddenly things started to look ugly. There was another couple standing and planning on which flavour to pick. They seemed to be smiling at almost everything. But unlike me, their smile didn’t look to have an end.  I envied them for no reason. I left the place. Engaged myself in other works and decided not to visit the place again.

                                     

Trust me, I’m strong now but the world seems to have become cruel. So is the owner of that soft-toy shop. They have showcased bigger and better teddy bears. Bigger than the ones we saw. The ones you always insisted on. My feet are dragged towards them and just when I’m about to pick them. They abruptly stop. I’m forced to believe that they are worthless now. I turn back and walk away, wishing teddy bears never existed. Their sole motto is to look cute and kill me.   

There are things you will be glad about. I sleep on time as there isn’t anyone to talk to whole night.  They keys of my cell-phone give me the impression that they are rejoicing. They are fresh and unused. No lengthy, frequent messages to anyone. Although there is no one to ask me to eat, I take most of my meals on time. I do all my important works better now. I told you, I’m strong now.

 Just wish I was half as strong with you. Wish I could have told you the serials we talked about aren’t going to end with us. They are to become more interesting when we wouldn’t have anyone to talk to. Wish I could have told you that at the end of our walk that I never wanted it to end at all. Wish the porch wasn’t circular. Wish it was straight and endless. Wish the soul-mate thing wasn’t just a game. World again seems to have become cruel and so are the emotions within me. They tempt me to write and they leave me with tears all the time. This time I can wipe them without much effort.I told you,I’m strong now.....